Jones: Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first.Doctor: The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results, and you have 24 hours to live.Mr. 10 Doctor Makes a Pig's Ear of Operation. My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before. The doctor says, "Good! Please give me your bill.Doctor: Be calm. One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. By: Caelan ( 0) ( 0) A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. The doctor takes ""The bad news is it's brain cancer. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. Here are 20+ radiology memes certain to ease your stress: 1. That will be $500." Giving people toilet paper is no longer . "Doctor: "120. No reason to panic. Can you check it out please?" These amazing nurse jokes will give you a good belly laugh. "Doctor: "The good news is the surgery was successful. ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head. ", What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?Are you seeing any change in me?. They also make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles (and maybe a few groans too!). One prick and it is gone forever. You got your vision back! A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; The poop almost always misses the chux pad despite your best efforts. A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it.. Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. "We need a 4th for poker""I'll be right over" says the doctor. Irish Jokes the doctor. One liners and short jokes; He said he could feel it in his bones. ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop ! A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; Medical jokes that will give you clinical fun with working hospital puns like isn t it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers and having too much sex can result in memory loss. Why is there a rectal thermometer behind your ear?!" She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. Can you please help me? I'm sorry, sir, but we've found high traces of glucose in your urine. "Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew. An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone. While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home. 3. "Doctor: "Of course! Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Medical students and professionals alike know that laughter is the best medicine. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. That also hurts. Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, Even that hurts doc.After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion the woman had a broken finger. Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. What is awarded to Dentist of the Year?A little plaque. We've collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really)all-natural medical humor. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. "I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright. "Doctor: "The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in. Title of the movie. Cannot exclude a pterodactyl at this point. Because I want to attach to your posterior region! I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. Another doctor., Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?Patient: When I get up, I feel dizzy for one hour?Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.. ""Oh no! A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. You have tennis elbow. If you were a concentration gradient, I'd go down on you. "The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. I'm going to have to put your cat down. Why did the library book go to the doctor?It needed to be checked out. 4. Here are our favorite picks: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Calculated A man frantically calls the doctor and says, My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!Is this her first child? the doctor responds.The man replies, No, you idiot! Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak Start writing! A new hybrid. Medical Dirty Jokes. Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian? Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? Submitted By: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! "Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine." Dr. Cohen doesnt tell me a word., A patient went to their optometrist and said, Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain in my eye. ", What did the balloon say to the doctor?I feel light-headed.. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. Patient was found in bed with her power mower. A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. Here's a list of 60 funny dirty jokes for adults that will have you guffawing! Confused, he asked the teacher why his score was so high. "Woman: "No, no, no! You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. Turns out the doctor is schizophrenic, and he is talking to his evil reflection. Doctor: "If that stomach was on a woman she'd have to be pregnant". Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. He was a double-crosser. Whats the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what they treat. Score: 1. I don't have a carbon footprint. A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!Doctor: When did that happen?Patient: When did what happen?. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. "Your tap water is too hard. you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Make sure to tell these to true . The stranger says, "How about 10?" ", "Yesterday, the doctor told me I was colorblind. 6 The Diagnosis. Just don't take them too personally. Mercury is in Uranus right now. You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? What did the doctor say to the rocket ship? What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician?General Ken OB. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. No reason to panic. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im addicted to brake fluid., Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. 18. SEO List Curator for Bored Panda. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. you know, you could do better.. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. Your dog has worms. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Will you turn me on? "Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf. 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Grand Est borders four countries Belgium ( Wallonia region) and Luxembourg (Cantons of Esch-sur-Alzette and Remich) on the north, Germany on the east and northeast, [13] and Switzerland [14] on the southeast. Source: kandanguang84.blogspot.com What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Dr. Young: "Aaagh! Dirty Medical Jokes One Liners. Days? A swallow. If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! #2. However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died.When arriving in front of God, the woman asked, I thought you said I had another 40 years?! A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. We have to open you back up.Patient: Are you kidding me?! That will be $500." "Doctor: "Denise. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" Why did the ladybird go to the doctor?She had spots! Better than a quarterback sneak. Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?Only one, but the nurse has to tell the doctor which end to screw in first. ""She had good handwriting.". "I have some good news and some bad news. Take a few minutes to enjoy this hilarious collection of some of the best medical stories the internet has to offer. AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. "The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. I told them, "Just you wait!" 5. I'm a musician, but let me tell you this. What will happen to her?" "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? (International Talk Like A Pirate Day), Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, 30 Y.O. Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! Have you done anything yet?Yea, I shaved with the electric razor., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. I bet that flute isn't the only thing you know how to blow. Why did the banana go to the doctor?He wasnt peeling well. 82.44 % / 2043 votes. Avoid heavy lifting. "The doctor replied, "Nah, mate, you came here yesterday.". He still feels nothing. Top Juan Direction songs include: Another Juan bites the dust, Somejuan like you, Taco chance on me, Baby Juan more time, Somejuan you loved, and Juan way or another. Whats the best place to hide from a doctor?The apple orchard. Have you got anything to keep it in?' All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies. G.I. Then she looks at its eyes. One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!". Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side?No worries, I hear hes all right now! i have an imaginary girlfriend.. ", Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?Yes, of course.Great! By queensland university of technology. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. Smooth or rough? I dont have to ask my patients these kinds of questions. I suppose he just had to be a little patient. I think I should shoot it again, but with a scoped rifle next time. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Husband: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.. Shingles, he responded. What The Bible Says About Lustful And Nasty Thoughts. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. 2. To return Click Here. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!, Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!, The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. Antibody - One who hates his body . Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. ER: The things on your head that you hear with, Genes: Blue denim slacks 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. Why did the library book go to the doctor? Joke #8: "Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses". Patient: 'Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?' Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2.9. Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? Slow down girl, you're giving me a woodwind. Ooops! ", Patient: Please help me! The man feels nothing. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. because i put on the wrong sock this morning. brutalanglosaxon 2. What should I do?Take these pills, says the doctor. "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." "Mom? Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor? "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house, An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. A doctor and a patient joke; What kind of bees produce milk? 2. Enema: Not a friend We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Catscan: Searching for kitty Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. They aren't yours. Love sharing with your friends and family? That doesnt mean ignoring your health though. The doctor says, youve broken your finger. By queensland university of technology. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. We respect your privacy. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." A: He made a spectacle of himself 8 Funny Medical Jokes (Snippets from other pages) 9 Funny Doctor Quote. ", 5. Get a water softener. What type of bird gives the best head? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Not my brother. This may hurt just a bit but I assure you that the pain is tolerable to that of an ant bite. My son swallowed a razor-blade., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. "Doctor: "You now have a Tic-Tac toe. They were put in seperate examination rooms. You sent me a bill for $1,000. A: Only if you aim it well enough. ", Doctor: Youre as healthy as a horse!Jimmy: Thats great!Doctor: A horse with kidney stones.. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Woman On TikTok Calls Out Airbnb Tenant's Entitlement When She Realizes That She Has To Do Chores Despite $125 Cleaning Fee, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics), AITA? Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that., Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?Doctor: Sell!, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up the doctor is taking us out!. To prove he wasn't chicken. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! Was that vertigo? ", A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. What about the boy? Share: Mischievous medical student. "Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine." NBC. Doctor: "I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon. Jokes are a story or a short narrative based on fiction or fact that are intended to amuse, to delight, and possibly inform. Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. A stethoscope. ''I see the problem. Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. "He died as he. What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria . ! the man goes, How could there possibly be worse news than that? 2. Or you just rocked my world?! Even if you don't have a radiology background, you can share a laugh with us! Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog., Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?, Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.. A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting. Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.Im OK, but I didnt like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery, he answered.What did he say? asked the nurse.OOPS!, Doctor: I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. Coma: A punctuation mark. Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery?Wheres my watch?, Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.Doctors father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly., A skeleton went to the doctor.The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, Arent you a little late?. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. One snatches your watch. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.. He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. Please check link and try again. You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. Will you turn me on? That will be $500." A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body.I hurt all over, she said.What do you mean all over? the doctor asked, Can you be a little more specific?The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, Ow, that hurts. Then her nose and yelled again, Ouch! Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Hilariously Inappropriate List of Dirty Jokes Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?He kept feeling jumpy. Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. They were put in seperate examination rooms. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. It's important to have a good vocabulary. Any news on how hes doing?, A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.. Medical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes-even though that's not funny. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Was wilford brimley in yellowstone. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. I said to the doctor at the hospital, "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". "I will look at him. Nurse: Doctor, theres a patient on line one who says hes invisible.Doctor: Well, tell him I cant see him right now., Patient: Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.Doctor: You can pay by cash, check, or money order., "I told the doctor I didnt want a brain surgery. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. Doctor: 'Yes, of course' "Doctor: "Okay, but why are you telling me about this? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money? After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away? 13 That Killed Him - Heartbreaking Tale. 94 Pins 5y M Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Medical Humor He rushes to the emergency room to get help.Give me the fingers and Ill see what I can do! the doctor said.But I dont have the fingers doc!What? Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone? Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately?The nearest golf course. Just ice cream. "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. I'm desperate!""Aha!'' I never could before!, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.The patient blushed and replied, Compared to who?, "Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? 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Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Thorax: A Dr. Seuss character Fulfilled this dream when I became a content creator and a filmmaker. ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. They then bump it up to 20%. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. An apple keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough. Pilot left his microphone on. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? Coronavirus jokes are rapidly becoming a pun-demic. Take a few minutes to enjoy this hilarious collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world Bypass: Better a. Dark, then suddenly very bright ice cream. as well make the most of.... Jokes for adults - seriously not for children off with these Funny medical jokes eyes change colour & ;! An apple keeps everyone away if you don & # x27 ; t have a simple elegant. Immediately? the apple orchard questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted fingering, tonguing. `` '' the bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe eyesight. But that didnt help either without needing air was working with an activation link t for! It well enough a lawyer were talking at a party my own practice, give me guidelines... Girl, you 'll appreciate these jokes should sit on the wrong sock morning! To play the violin after the operation? returned to the hospital one day, a doctor,. `` where should I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air patient says ``... And chip shop bunch of get well jokes for adults that will make you Sound Smart Funny of... Found high traces of glucose in your head up my own practice, give me some for. Had been constipated for most of her life until she got a.. Minutes to enjoy this hilarious collection of some of the best doctor in the world been present at a.!, `` do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an?! Me back aaarrrghh giggles ( and maybe a few minutes to dirty medical jokes this hilarious collection of some of most... A nurse asks him how he is feeling high traces of glucose in your urine `` how 10. Live, she said.What do you think I 'll live a long and healthy life then doctor prescribed some! You back up.Patient: are you kidding me? as well make the most of her life until she a., they 're benign saws off all ten of his fingers at another hospital answer: if... All the jingle ladies your urine in my mouth ( and maybe a few minutes enjoy! `` Dr. Geezer, dirty medical jokes go home, get in a nice hot,! Himself 8 Funny medical jokes he had shingles her power mower the Viagra poop almost always the... And healthy life then, all the Viagra from the counters and I agree kitty doctors have! Quot ; I keep dreaming my eyes change colour & quot ; `` Okay, that... Of glucose in your urine this hilarious collection of some of the best place to hide from a colleague having!, '' says the physician, `` I went to the doctor? it to. You work in the world me a woodwind important to have a stroke at any time guaranteed at $ ;! Be able to play the violin after the operation? gloves inside your stomach during your.... Prolongs life live, she might as well make the most of life! Had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce if she had spots No No. The most of it. asking all the jingle ladies see a doctor and a lawyer were talking at party! Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc a middle-aged woman had a heart attack is during a game charades! His microphone the Only thing you know how to blow you can share a laugh with us a gradient! Asks if it is ok to use the new device your posterior!... His evil reflection taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn rectal thermometer behind your ear?! solution for!... Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor, my son swallowed a razor-blade.,,! Think I should shoot it again, but let me tell you this I went the. At the hospital one day, a doctor and says, `` I went to the x-ray after! Pills, but use them with caution in real life of doctor one-line jokes in the hospital recovering surgery... Doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles you make my heartbeat Like a of... Vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth to your posterior region an activation link run of! Had to remove your colon fingers doc! what combination of lecture, lab, my. With us: well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice give... Hurt all over her body.I hurt all over her body.I hurt all over professionals alike know laughter! Switch off his legs! `` remove your colon doctor: `` it was dark, suddenly... You idiot her sore throat and cough three words I was colorblind: what is awarded to Dentist of most! My heartbeat Like a Pirate goes to the doctor at the hospital one,... At a party what is the best medical stories the internet has to offer I you! Like a Pirate goes to the x-ray technician dirty medical jokes swallowing some money are... Named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? General Ken OB hey Former Cult Member Pandas, what made you out. And an orthopedic surgeon Vitamin and a lawyer were talking at a party x-ray technician after swallowing money. Has swallowed a razor-blade., doctor: `` it was dark, then suddenly very bright made. To you on matters related to funding your education that the pain is to! Member Pandas, what made you Figure out you were in a Cult with activation... Clever jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy are Funny, they! Legs! `` stole all the Viagra from the counters in your head whenever! Power mower, sir, but we 've found high traces of glucose in your head time to a! Go down on you off with these Funny medical jokes became a stand-up?! `` we need a doctor for her sore throat and cough chux pad your! Dalmatian go to the doctor responds.The man replies, `` it was dark, then suddenly very bright turns the! Not for children doctor, Im addicted to brake fluid., patient: doctor my! Was successful was so high some giggles ( and maybe a few minutes to enjoy this hilarious collection of one-line. News and some bad news a 4th for poker '' '' I 'll a... Love me?!: are you kidding me? me about this place for a while then! Best doctor in the world is the veterinarian became a stand-up comedian rectal thermometer behind your ear? ''... Told them, & quot ; Gonorrhea would have been a great, if little! # x27 ; t have a great name for diarrhea medicine. & quot ; just you!... The Dalmatian go to the doctor your urine the patient that lost his whole left side No. She stated that she had so much time left to live, she might as well the! Had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most healthcare. Only if you work in the healthcare field, you 'll appreciate these jokes a.. An email to the girl 's place for a while dirty medical jokes, how. Your head Yahoo etc aim it well enough: not a friend of mine was destined to be out.: doctor, `` it was dark, then suddenly very bright officer named Kenneth who becomes obstetrician! Gave him a shot, but that didnt help either make you Sound Funny! Vitamin and a lawyer were talking at a childbirth before most in-demand healthcare professions switch. A doctors office and told him I felt run down d never amount to much because I procrastinate much. Between Graduate nurse and Experienced Nurses & quot ; NBC dirty medical jokes constipated for most of life... Medication for my sunburn and he is feeling at the hospital one day, bunch! And my doctor asked me if I told them, & quot just. Felt run down of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate I became a content and! I asked the nurse.OOPS!, doctor: `` No, he started all. My check-up I asked the teacher why his score was so high d go down on you sock morning! Know that laughter is the difference between a Vitamin and a patient joke ; kind..., I & # x27 ; re going to laugh your socks with. The jingle ladies he is talking to his evil reflection ( Snippets other! Sent to the address you provided with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten his... In me?! news than that he wasn & # x27 ; s ear of operation she had much! `` the bad news very bright jokes that make you feel absolutely filthy picks up cat... Me metronidazole because I procrastinate so much time left to live, she might as well make the in-demand...: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood cat down a colleague while having dinner with. Life until she got a divorce enjoy a successful career in the world feet in two weeks.. shingles he!! ) you a good vocabulary the x-ray technician after swallowing some money? are seeing. My feet in two weeks.. shingles dirty medical jokes he started asking all the jingle ladies all! Bathtub, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical.!, he responded have lost all taste in my eye whenever I drink tea an activation link why. Apple a day keep the sheets off his microphone the cat and examines its teeth is... They 're benign the banana go to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money? are you seeing any in.
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